| Imagine this, a co-worker enters your
| |
| | down the hall or talk "at" you instead of
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| office and says:"Cathy, could I talk with
| |
| | "with" you?This is a rude interrupter. Be
|
| you for a minute? I'm having areal
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| | firm, direct, and abrupt.If they appear
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| problem with...." You glance at your
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| | to be bruised, don't let it bother you.
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| watch and think ofthe report that's due
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| | Theywill not take what you said
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| in an hour. What do you do?
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| | personally even if they say so.Their
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| What would happen if you were Cathy's
| |
| | "taken-aback" expression is just for
|
| supervisor?
| |
| | show. Actually,it is a form of
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| Let's continue. You're cooking dinner,
| |
| | manipulation. Don't play and
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| starting todestress, the food preparation
| |
| | don'tapologize.
|
| timing is coming together--for once--and
| |
| | If they persist go ahead and give them an
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| your mother calls: "Could we talk?
| |
| | ultimatum: "Yourudely interrupt me. I've
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| It'simportant. I need someone to talk
| |
| | tolerated this in the past;however, it
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| to?" What do you say?
| |
| | has to stop NOW." When they finally
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| What we would like to say and what we end
| |
| | realize youare not playing their game,
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| up doing isusually two different things.
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| | they will stop. They will eithertotally
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| Good news, tactfully sayingno is a
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| | avoid you in the future or return with
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| learned skill. It requires know-how and
| |
| | respect.Generally, they will return with
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| practice.Let's talk about ten how-tos and
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| | a new awareness aboutthemselves. When
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| alternatives that can helpyou practice.
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| | they do, accept their apology. But
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| Tip 1: There are three parts to meshing a
| |
| | don'tcount on it. And if they don't
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| "no, but not no"response. The first part
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| | return, you haven't lostanything.
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| acknowledges and empathizes. Thesecond
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| | Tip 5: If you can, keep doing what you
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| part gives a situation statement. In the
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| | are doing. Look up,smile, point to a
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| third, andlast, part is an action
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| | notepad and pen, and then return to
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| statement.
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| | whatyou were doing.
|
| An example of an empathy or
| |
| | Tip 6: Sometimes the position of your
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| acknowledgment statement:"Sam, I'm sure
| |
| | furniture invitesinterruptions.
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| this problem is important."
| |
| | Especially if your office is
|
| Next, add the second part, a situation
| |
| | beautifullydesigned, or contains natural
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| statement. Forinstance: "I'm working on a
| |
| | ingredients, like plants.Others want to
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| report that I promised to havecompleted
| |
| | be around this energy. It's
|
| within the next hour."
| |
| | attractive.It's renewing to them as much
|
| The third part, an action statement,
| |
| | as it is to you. There's onlyone
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| needs to describe whatyou will do or
| |
| | suggestion when this occurs. Suggest that
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| offer as an alternative: "Let's get
| |
| | they changetheir office to reflect a
|
| togetherafter I've completed my report.
| |
| | similar energy. Afterwards, theywill not
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| How about 2 PM thisafternoon in your
| |
| | want to leave their office as easily.
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| office?"
| |
| | Tip 7: If you frequently get trapped
|
| Instead of saying no directly, you have
| |
| | behind your desk.Plan and practice
|
| said no withoutsaying no.
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| | various escape routes and methods.
|
| Tip 2: What if it's your supervisor
| |
| | Again,consider rearranging the furniture
|
| interrupting you? Whatdo you do? Here's
| |
| | to allow for escaperoutes.
|
| how to mesh the three parts into a
| |
| | Tip 8: Discourage squatters. If your
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| no,without any further interruption, and
| |
| | interruptions are dueto people
|
| into a win for both.
| |
| | consistently coming in and just sitting
|
| Sandy, your supervisor enters, "Lisa, I
| |
| | andtalking, remove any empty chairs.
|
| hate to interruptyou, but we have a real
| |
| | Place them outside youroffice so they are
|
| problem in the field, I need to talkwith
| |
| | available when needed but not too closeto
|
| you right away. Could I see you in my
| |
| | the door that they can easily be dragged
|
| office?"
| |
| | in when someoneenters.
|
| First, the acknowledgment statement:
| |
| | Tip 9: Do people wait for you to get off
|
| "Sandy, I'm sure thisis an important
| |
| | a phone call?Place a sign on the desk:
|
| problem." Second, the situation
| |
| | "If I'm on a phone call, pleaseleave me a
|
| segment:"I'm working on that report you
| |
| | note. I'll check back with you as soon as
|
| requested by noon." Third,adding the
| |
| | I'moff the phone."
|
| action: "Would you like me to defer the
| |
| | An alternative: Train others in a silent
|
| reportuntil 3 PM [its imperative to offer
| |
| | hand code. Useyour fingers to indicate
|
| an exact time] so we canmeet now? Or
| |
| | how long you are going to be. Oneindex
|
| would you like me to complete this and
| |
| | finger explains that you will be off the
|
| thencome to your office?" This response
| |
| | phone in aminute or two, please stay.
|
| allows your supervisorto see your
| |
| | Full hand with a wave says, "Idon't know
|
| perspective and situation and to make
| |
| | how long and I'll get back to you." This
|
| adecision.
| |
| | silentcode allows you to continue your
|
| Tip 3: Discouraging professional
| |
| | focus, acknowledges them,and also allows
|
| interrupters. Theseprofessionals make a
| |
| | them to make a decision on their time.
|
| career out of interrupting. They
| |
| | Tip 10: Many of these ways for handling
|
| starttalking and don't stop. They go on
| |
| | interruptions atwork can also apply at
|
| and on and when theyfinally stop to catch
| |
| | home. Here is one that transferswell.
|
| a breath, and you get to saysomething,
| |
| | Name a "personal spot." An area you can
|
| they interrupt a few minutes later. How
| |
| | call your own. Itcan be a den, sewing
|
| do youhandle these?
| |
| | room, shed, or an extra bedroom.
|
| Movement is the key. If cornered behind
| |
| | Thismeans this spot makes you off limits
|
| your desk, standup, and move. If you are
| |
| | to interruptions. Ifyou have children,
|
| already standing up, begin walkingout. If
| |
| | explain to them what interruption
|
| sitting down, stand up. You can also
| |
| | means,why you need some personal space,
|
| changemomentum by dropping something or
| |
| | and give them the sameopportunity and
|
| turning sideways. Reachfor something that
| |
| | courtesy.
|
| has nothing to do with the conversationor
| |
| | Purchase a clock sign at the office
|
| excuse yourself to the restroom.
| |
| | supply store -- the sametype retailer's
|
| Interrupt in the same manner they use
| |
| | use on their front doors -- to indicate
|
| with you. It's okay,they do it because it
| |
| | whattime you will be available again. Or
|
| appears normal to them even if itfeels
| |
| | you could add a whiteboard so they can
|
| brash to you. Here are a few template
| |
| | write their note. Like college
|
| statements:"Where is this leading?"
| |
| | studentsuse on their dorm room doors. A
|
| "What's your point, I've gottenlost in
| |
| | magnetic board would workwell for younger
|
| what I think is the trivia?" "You have
| |
| | or smaller children. Create magnets
|
| jumpedaround so much on topics, I don't
| |
| | foreach family member that they can move
|
| know which one toaddress."
| |
| | to a spot alreadywritten: "Bobby wants
|
| It's important to practice patience
| |
| | you."
|
| throughout this process.Professional
| |
| | The Other Side Of The Coin
|
| interrupters don't usually hear you the
| |
| | The other side of this perspective is
|
| firstfew times you ask your question. If
| |
| | using interruptions toboost productivity.
|
| need be, become abroken record. Continue
| |
| | People sometimes use interruptions topush
|
| to ask again until they do hearyou.
| |
| | themselves into overdrive. This helps
|
| Identify what is it about their
| |
| | some peoplewhile it disrupts others. This
|
| communication style orinterruption
| |
| | habit gets them to move pasttheir own
|
| process that annoys you. Provide this
| |
| | procrastination habits to complete their
|
| feedbackand communicate your preferred
| |
| | tasks.This need can also be an addictive
|
| style of being interrupted ina positive
| |
| | behavior sometimesdisguised as
|
| manner.
| |
| | "workaholicism."
|
| Tip 4: What about the few that don't get
| |
| | (c) Copyright, Catherine Franz. All
|
| your hints orlisten to what you are
| |
| | rights reserved.
|
| saying? Sometimes they even followyou
| |
| |
|
